took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
