I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My vagina is officially offended.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
