i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
