guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
