he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
