I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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