all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
