I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
