3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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