Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
