i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
