Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
