When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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