your parents love me but you hate me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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