so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
