just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
