That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
