hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
