i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
