He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
