VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fuck appropriateness.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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