I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
