Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
