i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
