Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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