we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
