TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
