I CAN MOONWALK!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm at about main and main street
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
