hotel room ftw
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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