just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
