Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
