i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
