his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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