OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
