I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Watching her eat just hurts me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
