their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
