consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
