after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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