69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize