party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
