yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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