big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
