sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
