I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
