I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
