Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
her vagine was all disorganized.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i love accidental penises.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
