Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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