I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
there is puke in my bra ... again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
