Redeem this text for a blowjob
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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