Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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